***Please note: Inconsiderate comments are a part of everyday life, it is human nature to speak before we think. We all have put our foot in our mouth and have said the wrong thing and offended someone; especially in today’s world were almost everything we say is censored and could get us in trouble. For the most part, all the comments I have disliked and listed below come from people that have good intentions in what they say, but they just may not realize how what they say really come’s across to a new and excited mom.
The question I have is, do people simply have a super negative view of children today or do they think everyone that has a child is an idiot?
Here’s some background: I am 6 months pregnant and my husband and are so thrilled to have our first child! But the comments that we get when we tell people that I am pregnant (that we would think would also be happy for us) are very offensive at times. Now, I am not one of those that people that get offended at every little thing… But really, what would be really nice is if people said congratulations and left it at that if they cannot think of anything else supportive. I mean really, we are stable, happily married, responsible, I’m finished with college, etc.
Comment 1: “Did you ask you mother? What does she think?”
-First of all my parents are always supportive of my decisions, as well as kind and loving. Second of all, what does my mother have to do with me having a baby? Am I not a 25 year old adult, completely capable of making wise choices? Is this not between my husband and I? When I told my mother about this comment she said (paraphrased of course) “Your decisions are your decisions, I am very happy for you, but even if I was not, it is not up to me nor is it any of my business.” (Go Mom!)
Comment 2: “A baby is a lot of work.”
-What I would like to say, but of course never will is: “Really? I thought you could put a baby in a closet by himself and little fairies will take care of him. A sigh of surprise. Well, I never knew I could not do that, surely you are mistaken.” Come on, you really feel the need to tell me that?! Of course babies are a lot of hard work. They cannot feed themselves, change their own diapers, keep themselves clean, self soothe, etc. They are fragile little human beings! Human beings are a lot of work, in fact I am still a lot of work!
Comment 3: “A baby will change your life and your relationship.”
-What? Again, you really need to tell me this? Are you insinuating my relationship with my husband is not strong enough? Of course it will change our relationship, as well as add to it. Of course we won’t have that much alone time any longer. It will be different. We will have the same amount of time together, the difference is we will be spending it together with our son, admiring and loving him together, rather than “alone.” And later on life, when our baby is a little older and I can trust someone enough to babysit (which is a rare find, so far away from home that I am), well than once a month we can go on a date night. We decided to have a child because we wanted to share the overflowing love we have with each other, with a child as his parents.
What happened to just “congratulations, I am so happy for you?”
Realistically, when all is said and done in regards to my opinions of the comments that truly actually hurt me; what should we really say and do? Nothing but nod and smile. For as the Bible says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12: 18